Well, they defined western thought and made us question the nature of our very existence, but how would the world’s leading philosophers cope if they had to get their Don Draper on and apply their theories to something as mundane as selling a can of beans. We can only imagine:
SOCRATES
“The unexamined bean is not worth eating”
PLATO
“The essence of a good life is a good baked bean”
ARISTOTLE
“Happiness is the meaning of life, baked beans are the prime method of attainment”
DESCARTES
“I bean, therefore I has-bean”
HUME
“The effects of beans should be shared throughout society”
KANT
“Putting beans on toast is a categorical imperative”
HEGEL
“The beans alone are real, everything else is illusion”
NIETZSCHE
“Be a Superman – start your day with a plate of beans”
WITTGENSTEIN
“The pursuit of beans is a therapeutic activity”
SARTRE
“Eating beans requires total responsibility”
So there you have it, and now the essential philosophical question is, which one would you trust to be Creative Director of your real/imagined agency?
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